Life is precious and can change in one tragic moment. We have heard it all before.
This weekend one of my closest friends suffered a devastating loss and my heart breaks for her. There are no words that can adequately comfort or gestures that can fill the void in her life. We all seem to naively believe that it won't happen to us but sadly it sometimes does.
Hug your children today and thank God for the opportunity to do so. Tell them, even if you think they aren't really hearing you, that choices have consequences. Unfortunately sometimes there just aren't any do overs.
Elizabeth, James and Adam I love you all so much and can't imagine my world without you in it.
Stay safe always.
xoxo,
Mom
Comments have been closed on this post out of respect for the family.
For a bit of musical ambience hit play before reading post.
You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at 7:00 this morning. We were brainwashed.
~The Breakfast Club
Love that movie.
Wish I had remembered to watch it before "The Reunion"
So if you are a follower
you know that I went to my high school reunion earlier this month.
It just kind of crept up on me.
I forgot to lose the weight,
get a real job,
or live in or travel to exotic places.
I forgot to do something spectacular with my life.
I contemplated making up something newsworthy or juicy
but thought better of it.
In other words,
ten years ago when I thought about going to the next reunion -
which seemed like a lifetime away-
I envisioned myself entering the room as a glamourous badass.
Hmmmm. Well Glamourous BA forgot to show up.
Instead, I was just me.
Wife to one, mom to three, and friend, I hope, to many.
I am a sometimes artist, blogger nerd, frustrated writer, self taught designer, color evangelist, darling daughter, tireless shopper and aging fashionista ( ahh sigh here) .
Just your typical all American midwestern peri-menopausal woman who was a bit freaked out to go to her own reunion.
Funny thing was
I'm pretty sure I wasn't alone with my anxiety.
Maybe we were all feeling a bit anxious and as a result everybody ultimately kept it real.
There was no pretentiousness here.
Not this time.
True, the alcohol probably helped break the ice.
But,
gone were the days of the braggarts and pompous blowhards.
Replaced by real people.
People with mortgages and college tuition.
People discovering the freedoms of an empty nest
and the heartache of losing parents.
For most of us those invisible lines we drew around ourselves and each other much like the kids in The Breakfast Club had evaporated into our past.
My reunion.
I wasn't expecting to have fun.
I wasn't planning on even going.
Then one day I agreed to do the decorations.
I forgot to take pictures of them and I don't know where they ended up.
I definitely didn't want them back
but I thought it would be fun to share them here in Brag Land I mean Blog Land.
Impact Photo and Joe Photo to the rescue.
Thank you Ed, Molly, and Dan and Jeff.
Actually most of the pictures here are the result of these slamming photographers.
The oversized images of a few classmates I scattered around were good for some added laughs.
T
These are some of the best years yet and besides that, we still have it going on .... older yes, but still hot. :D
Who said the guys would look older than the girls?
I disagree.
The guys, definitely handsome. :)
This one is my favorite.
Even though I had second guessed my decision to attend,
I'm so glad that in the end I decided to go.
I reconnected with an old friend,
met some new ones,
and I realized I should be grateful for just being able to be there.
So many were not as lucky.
What new knowledge did I walk away with from this event?
Well, we are older yes.
Wiser?
Not so sure.
Would I do it again?
Absolutely.
Some things really do get better with age.
Love you Warriors.
Let's keep in touch
until we can do it all over
Because ...
What we found out is that each one of us is a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely,The Breakfast Club
~The Breakfast Club
PS. Please do not lift or copy pictures from this post without permission from Joe Photo or Impact Photo. Thank you.
Then somebody from my less than stellar high school years contacted me through facebook.
Eye roll here.
If I'm being honest.
I got the the first high school friend request about a year ago.
I checked their profile picture and felt a bit better about myself.
I know, that sounds mean -
is mean.
Sorry.
Have you met me?
I definitely don't look like this anymore. ( I lost the antlers) :)
but I have this fear that I'm going to go in there Friday night and we will all look like these famous Iowans.
Anyway, I agreed to the friend request.
Then there were more friend requests.
Now mind you, I was NOT what you would call popular in high school.
But who were these people wanting to be my friends?
There were well over 500 students in my graduating class so of course I didn't know everyone.
While I should have been doing the losing weight thing, my facebook friend numbers were steadily increasing.
At first I was feeling pretty cocky about that but I got over it quickly.
I realized these new found "friends" were just trying to boost THEIR own friend numbers.
Maybe in the beginning I was a friend whore too.
I'm sure I was trying to gather up a respectable number of friends so I didn't look like I was socially dysfunctional.
(I guess in a lot of ways I really never have left high school).
Now, though, I'm wondering how to go about "defriending" some of these people that I really don't know all that well and have nothing in common with.
Is defriending cruel?
On the other hand, because of facebook I started up some great exchanges with people from my past.
We've shared photos of families, decorating and work.
I heard about big events in their lives as they happened.
The point is, because of facebook, the door to my past was opened.
... Before you could say easy target
I was agreeing to help with the event.
What I agreed to was to make calls.
Some of the people I called had no idea who I was.
Yes, that was a bit deflating.
A couple were obviously annoyed that I thought they would ever bother to subject themselves to the degradation or the insanity of a high school reunion.
Wow, silly or not, can we say cranky buzz kill?
Then there were those conversations that just flowed so easily,
especially considering we hadn't talked in over twenty years.
There were a few people that back in school I thought were as dumb as rocks.
Shame on me.
Now they are doing some pretty impressive things and making a difference.
Kudos to them.
Actually, they probably thought my elevator didn't go quite to the top either
Just check out this picture. Can you blame them?
Huh????
As for the reunion, one thing lead to another.
So now I'm doing the decorations too.
Having people think you are creative can be a curse.
just as I am finally getting used to admitting I am one age,
I have another b-day and I have to nudge that number up by one.
Argh!
At least this one wasn't one of those biggie decade birthdays.
Thanks to Facebook I felt very busy, popular and important.
Oh, that happened to you too???
I get it.
Seriously I probably never would have heard from 3/4 of the people that sent me party wishes if it weren't for Facebook.
I was kind of feeling like a big deal for about five minutes
but when I got a message from somebody that has become my "friend" by some sort of identity mix up, somebody I really don't know and she doesn't know me,
I was forced to realize that just about everybody has the Facebook Birthday Calendar and I'm really not as big of a whoop as I first imagined. :-)
That aside, my family and close friends outdid themselves.
My hubby did this
and with the help of my mom he did this
( It's on order) :-) My birthday has a way of really surprising my guy every year.
The best part is he really does forget how old I am.
Don't you love the color of that robe though?
My daughter didTHIS and made me laugh out loud and get a little misty all at the same time.
There is nothing like a daughter.
My mom did not only this
and this
but also this
I love being her only daughter.
So much fun.
The party continued the next day.
Only the best and closest of friends would give you one of these for your birthday...
a fan for hot flashes!
I think I will set it on my desk. :)
The best part is the party continues for a couple more days.
I think I look right at home with a crown don't you?
There have been so many happy days in my life, but of all the magical heavenly moments this one has to be the most priceless. It is etched on my mind as if it were just moments ago. Weddings are, of course, beautiful and memorable occasions but they rank a distant second to the birth of your first child. I guess that is because unlike so many marriages, a baby is forever. It is the connection between our past and our future. I look back on this picture and realize that Mike and I really were young and so green. We thought we were prepared. We had the car seat, the crib, and a months worth of diapers. We had spent the previous months going to bed at night reading stacks of baby and parenting books and I'm glad we did because after this picture was taken I don't think we ever had the time to pick up another one again. The truth was, though, we didn't have a clue, not an inkling of what we were doing or where we were headed. We never could have guessed how this wrinkled blothcy pink bundle of bliss would become one of the three greatest accomplishments in our life together.
It's too bad we didn't have a digital camera. I would have taken so many more pictures but seriously I never even dreamed I'd have my own computer that is like another appendage or that I would someday be blogging and posting pictures about my baby's 26th birthday. It's been a wonderful life that is passing by way too quickly.
Okay, so this one makes me misty too.
From blotchy baby to best friend and beauty. Love you. You always make me smile. Keep the memories coming our way. Happy birthday.
People come into our lives for a reason. Bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them. ~ Wicked
This is a photo of my mom with her friend and partner who passed away this week. It is bittersweet to see this picture of her looking so happy and yet I realize it is another reminder to relish each day for the gift that it is.
A piece I did for last year's Traveling Door sale. Sometimes we don't realize until we are pushed that we can fly.
FYI - this is a rare sentimental post - rather unusual for me but sometimes blogging is an exercise in therapy. I guess this was my catharsis.
It is like asking, "When did it get dark?" I don't know when things began to change and I'm not sure the change is even complete, but somewhere along the way the robes that my mom and I have worn for years don't fit like they used to. Lately, it seems we have needed to exchange them. My mom is a person I have leaned on, whined to, and confided in. We have shared a great number of martinis, laughs and bits of gossip. In recent years, though, there has been a slow but steady shift in my psyche. I used to worry about not disappointing my mom or if I was feeling rebellious just hoping she wouldn't find out about what I had said or done. There is an honesty about getting older and now I realize that it wouldn't have mattered if she had found out about all of my falls along the way. She would have loved me in spite and maybe because of my weaknesses. I know that now because I am older, wiser and also a mom. I know that my children will stumble and make bad choices and I will be here to listen, console, and if asked, advise them. Now instead of worrying about pleasing her, I worry about being here for her. Now it is me wondering if she is eating right and wondering if it is my imagination or are her steps wearier? My mom is going through an especially difficult time in her life and although I know her circumstances are certainly not unique, this time it is my mom that is hurting and I realize that she needs me. I am reminded of Kelly Corrigan's Transcending Women and a post I did earlier about this book. If you haven't seen the video yet be sure and click on the link. My mom was my first girl friend and I guess I am lucky because even though we suffered some tumultuous times between my sixteenth and probably thirtieth year, I now consider my mom one of my best friends.
Recently, it has become my turn to be the listener, the counselor, and the open arms for my mom. I believe this is something rather unique to women. We are the caregivers and we cannot ignore or turn our backs on a soul that is hurting. Men are certainly not uncaring but they seem to be able to respond to someone's needs and then shift gears and move back into their own routines without skipping a beat. Sometimes I envy them that but there is also a bonding that goes so much deeper between women. So when we feel overwhelmed with the responsibilities and the feelings that everyone wants a piece of us maybe we should be reminded that the role we fill has been passed on for generations and that we are passing on the nurturing skills that are ingrained in us. It is a fluid event. We take, we give, we take. This is what it is to be human and a woman. I love all of the women in my life and I love you Mom.
For the past year I have been dreaming of my own studio space. I live in a cavernous old rambling house. You wouldn't think that space would be an issue for me and I guess it really isn't finding room, it's about the right space. I don't want to be up on the top floor - too far to carry stuff. I don't want to be in a guest room - too messy and I don't like working in the kitchen - too invasive. Well last week the space I have been coveting finally became available. Here's the rub, the space I've been waiting for is where my son and his friends would hang out and for me to finally acquire it he had to move out for school. I still want room for a studio but I want him here too. Unfortunately life doesn't work that way. These are days of transition for me. I think that planning my studio gave me something positive to focus on so I didn't have to think about the changes that were ahead. What I didn't think about is that these are days of transition for him too. There were some difficult days for all of us but it has been almost two weeks and we are starting to hit our strides. He is only twenty minutes away and so he stops by frequently. Briefly, but frequently. Just those short little contacts seem to make it easier on all of us. I certainly don't want to give him the feeling of being displaced but watching him ease into the new routine is making it possible for me to again start thinking about converting the room in the basement into an area where my creative visions can come to life.
In my previous post I threw in a couple of pictures of what the space looked like right before Adam moved out. Like I mentioned, this is an old house that was built in 1916 but it amazingly has a walk-out basement so I am fortunate to have some fairly good light. When I started envisioning this new space i was thinking of maybe pink and orange. That's the fun thing about an art space, you can go a little crazy. Lately I had been thinking aqua with black and white accents. When I saw a notebook at Target that was black, white, and bright colors I bought it and held onto it just for studio inspiration. That's the fun thing about inspiration; it can come from the most unexpected places. Then one night I was looking for new blogs when I stumbled upon Amusing Muses. I immediately fell in love with this site. As I started looking at some of their older posts and I ran across a picture of a studio and knew that was the look I was going for.
Thank you Alberta for the use of your photos.
Don't you just love the artwork? She also has an Etsy site. Be sure and check out her blog for all of the particulars.
So now it is the beginning of July and my plan is thirty days to a new studio. I hope to blog about my progress and now that I've said that I will feel like I need to do a little something everyday. If it turns out half as great as this is I will be thrilled.
s I ran across a studio that </div><br>
Yesterday Adam finished his last day of high school. I went looking for this picture of his first day of kindergarten. Now why did I think this outfit was appropriate? I'm really surprised he didn't get beat up on the playground! Adam if your friends see this, I am REALLY sorry.
It is painfully obvious to me that I don't have any "first day of school" pictures after his sister left for college. She would thankfully guilt me into taking these pictures. Now I am so glad I have them.
As I heard Adam leave for his last day at high school, I couldn't convince myself to get up yet. I remembered he would be back home after second hour. I felt better that I could take the picture then and I rolled over for another thirty minutes of sleep. As it turned out, he didn't get home before I had to leave so his dad took these pics for me. Look at him... all grown up!
Where did the time go?
I did get this picture, though. He decided to make his own t-shirt for the day to commemorate the occasion.
This has all been wonderful but now I'm on my way. ~Phish
Everything has been a whirl lately and I know that in six months I will sit back briefly and think did all of that really already happen? Actually it has already been two weeks since our "Little Man" went to prom and I am just now getting the pictures posted. It was a great night. He and his date, Meg, went with a large group of kids but I am still waiting for the group pics.
A little help from Dad.
Adam didn't want to go the "Tux" route. Instead, he wanted to wear a suit - which he didn't own. So two weeks before prom we headed out to Holley's to buy a suit. Now our "Little Man" isn't so little anymore and a 6' 4" or maybe even 6' 5" 170 lb guy needed this suit special ordered and then altered. Pardon the pun but this really was nip and tuck. The suit didn't make it in until Wednesday but we had it fitted and they did a great job and he picked it up the morning of prom.
Definitely NOT his car but for prom the bright yellow Baja didn't seem quite right.
At Promenade. I love that Meg wore a short dress.
Hamming it up back at home. Very modelesque.
While they were twirling I decided to step off to the side and take a picture of these Blue Bells. I love this time of year.
Off to dinner and no, they are not drinking Champagne... at least not yet. These are the toasting glasses that were given to them at Promenade as a souvenir.
The night was a great success. Mike and I worked the post prom party from 11 to 4 am and it was actually a lot of fun. We had done it for our other two kids and we wanted to do it for Adam too.
Another milestone behind us. It's all been fun but we're looking ahead wlth anticipation. Hope the next chapter is as fun as this one has been.
Today would have been my dad's 75th birthday. We hadn't made any plans to commemorate this milestone, probably because my dad had Alzheimer's disease. I had convinced myself that I had lost my dad by inches these last six years and it is true that he wasn't the same dad I remembered from pictures like these, but his heart and soul were still that of the man that raised me and I did my best to connect with him on that level this past week. I am surprised that the loss isn't lessened by our long good bye. My dad fell on the 25th of September and broke his hip and then he developed a UTI and quickly became septic. I am still a little shocked by how rapidly things changed. Although I prayed for this peace for him I know I will miss him often. He showed me integrity and fairness and instilled in me a faith that is a great comfort to me. I asked Dad last week what he would like for his birthday and he said a reprieve. This year he got what he was asking for. I can let go with a heavy heart but a clear conscience
This past Friday we went to Des Moines to see James and Han off for their trip to Viet Nam. While we were there we met Han's family. I think we had all been a bit apprehensive because of the language barrier but they were so gracious and brought over a huge array of food. Food is, of course, a great ice breaker but when all else fails you can always bust out a camera because
"EVERYONE SMILES IN THE SAME LANGUAGE"
mỉm cười
At the airport. I loved the pink polka dotted
bows that Han tied onto her suitcase. I love
the girly girl in her.
More Color!
More Color at Be Colorful Coastal
Be Colorful Coastal Looking for more Be Colorful decor? Follow me @ becolorfulcoastal.com
Welcome to our BeColorful Home. Ours is an older home, built in 1916 and it has been added on to several times. We have lived here for almost fifteen years now and the house has evolved from a traditional flavor to something a bit more eclectic.I have always loved big splashes of color but I'm finding that I am also drawn to more neutral shades as well. Welcome and enjoy looking around.